Alfred the Latte Boy
by Miyagino 'Mikura' Asakura
Summary: Arthur met the love of his life in Starbucks, and decided to write a poem about it. (USUK Two-shot)
1. Alfred the Latte Boy

_So my sister introduced me to this song called "Taylor the latte boy", and then I thought of USUK._

_I really should have left this alone. I really should have._

* * *

There's a boy who works at Starbucks.  
He is very inspirational.  
He is very inspirational because of many things.

I come in at 8: 11, and he smiles and says "How are you?"  
When he smiles and says "How are you?",  
I could swear my heart grows wings!

So today at 8: 11,  
I decided I should meet him.  
I decided I should meet him  
In a proper formal way.

So today at 8: 11, when he smiled and said "How are you?"  
I said, "Fine and my name's Arthur."  
And he softly answered, "Hey."

And I told him, "My name is Arthur, and thank you for the extra foam!"  
And he said his name was Alfred,  
Which provides the inspiration for this poem:

_Alfred the latte boy,_  
_Bring me java, bring me joy!_  
_Oh, Alfred the latte boy,_  
_I love him, I love him, I love him..._

Well, I'd like to get my nerve up  
To recite my poem musical.  
He would like the fact it's musical  
Because he plays guitar.  
And today at 8: 11, Alfred told me he was playing  
With a band down in the village in the basement of a bar.

And he smoothly flipped the lever to prepare my double latte,  
But for me he made a triple. (And he didn't think I knew!)  
But I saw him flip the lever, and for me he made it triple,  
And I knew the triple latte meant that Alfred loved me too!  
I said, "What time are you playing? And thank you for the extra skim..."  
He said, "Keep the .55," because this triple latte was on him.

Alfred the latte boy,  
Bring me java, bring me joy!  
Alfred the latte boy,  
I love him, I love him, I love him...

I used to be the kind of guy  
Who'd run when love rushed toward him,  
'Till finally a voice whispered, "Love can be yours,  
If you step up to the counter and order!"

So many years my heart has waited,  
I love him, I love him, I love him...  
Who'd have thought that love could be so caffeinated?

Alfred the latte boy,  
Bring me java, bring me joy!  
Alfred, the latte boy,  
I love him, I love him, I love him.  
Oh, I love him, I love him, I love him.

* * *

_Yes, I bet that Arthur hates coffee. But because he has such a hugely (scary) crush on Alfred, he deals with it._

_Just wait until you hear Alfred's response to this in the next chapter..._

_Feel free to leave a review! :)_


	2. Arthur the Stalker Dude

_Surprise. Here's Alfred's side of the story._

* * *

There's a guy who comes to Starbucks,  
And I think he has a crush on me.  
I can tell he has a crush on me  
That's too big to ignore.  
He comes in here every morning  
At exactly 8:11.  
When the clock says 8:11,  
He comes walking through the door.

Then one fateful Monday morning,  
As he made his usual entrance,  
I could tell that he was nervous and he had something to say.

And I smoothly flipped the lever  
To prepare his double latte.  
And he said his name was Arthur,  
And I came back with "Hey."  
And I said my name was Alfred,  
And here's a little extra foam.  
As he left I cleaned his table  
And I found a folded napkin with this poem:

_Alfred the latte boy,__  
__Bring me java, bring me joy!__  
__Oh, Alfred the latte boy,__  
__I love him, I love him, I love him...__  
_  
So I should have got my nerve up,  
And just said I wasn't interested.  
But since he was clearly interested,  
It all got out of hand.

'Cause before I found his poem,  
We had had this conversation.  
I had told I was playing  
In the village with my band.

When I walked in Friday evening  
To our gig in Ivan's basement,  
I saw Arthur in the front row  
And I heard him scream my name.

Then my friend said "Man, he's crazy!"  
He's been here since 7:30,  
And he told me he's your waifu,  
And he's really glad he came.  
And then when our gig was over, he followed me the whole way home!  
As I ran to try and lose him,  
I composed another version of his poem:  
_  
__Arthur the stalker dude,__  
__You're a psycho, and you're crude.__  
__Oh, Arthur the stalker dude,__  
__You scare me,__you scare me,__you scare me…_

I used to be the kind of guy  
Who never was rude or doubting.  
But now I've got this lunatic freak in my life,  
Every night now at my window he's shouting:

_Alfred the latte boy~!_  
Go away! I'm not your toy!  
"Alfred the latte boy"  
Is calling  
Is calling  
The police.

Many a girl has let me court her  
But I've never needed a restraining order.  
Arthur, come find me now!  
I'm transferring to a new Starbucks.  
There's 20 on each block,  
So gooooooooooood luck!

* * *

_This was due to boredom. Feel free to leave a review._


End file.
